Vogue Says It’s Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend, But Is That Really True?
It’s only embarrassing if he’s embarrassing, right?
BY AVA ROBBINS ★ DECEMBER 1st, 2025
Photo Credit: Maia Simmons
If you don’t live under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Vogue’s new article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” by now. This article has readers in a frenzy; single readers strongly agreeing, and other happily coupled-up readers fuming with anger. Did we miss the whole point though? This article was never about convincing everyone to break up with their boyfriends or to never date again. It was about doing it the chic way, still maintaining a life outside of your relationship, making time for your friendships and being with someone who actually cares, if being in a relationship is even what you want.
Chanté Joseph is the award-winning writer and social media influencer behind this bombshell of an article. She emphasizes the idea that women are moving away from the habit of measuring their identity and value in romantic relationships, a cultural shift in the dating world. One trend mentioned in the article that displays this switch-up is the art of “soft launching.” Rather than plastering their partner’s face all over the internet, many women are opting to post more subtle moments, “a hand on a steering wheel, clinking glasses at dinner, or the back of someone’s head.” Steps in this direction position romantic relationships as a thrilling addition to your life, not the thing your whole life revolves around.
This article also brings up the idea that perhaps this shift is occurring because women don’t want to be known only as the girl who’s obnoxiously obsessed with her boyfriend. Women want a partner to come home to, but not one that costs them their friendships or dignity. Many also like the excitement and chase of not being committed to just one person. There are many aspects to consider when getting into a relationship, and Joseph noted several other reasons that women were hesitant to share too much about their partners. They feared sparking jealousy among peers, having an even bigger mess to clean up if there was ever a breakup or ending up being embarrassed and let down by said man.
The big picture of this article is that, no, no one thinks it's embarrassing for you to be in a happy relationship, with Joseph herself even writing, “Obviously, there’s no shame in falling in love.” However, in a world where it was once shameful to be a single woman, many are taking back their power and enjoying solitude successfully. The idea of having a boyfriend being “lame” or “old news” is certainly becoming more popular now and circulating in the media, but that’s actually kind of a good thing. Today, women are allowed to feel confident in themselves and are not forced to seek a romantic relationship if that’s not what they want, which, of course, changes the trends in the dating world. Narratives like these about having a boyfriend, while they may not resonate with everyone, allow those who choose not to be in a relationship to feel more stable and seen in their choices. Girls with boyfriends can be cool and girls without boyfriends can be equally as cool. It’s all about having a balance and ultimately, living the life you want.
As a hopeless romantic myself, I can’t be mad at this article. People were quick to judge it by its title, but let the record show that Joseph is not saying that it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend; she’s simply posing questions about the shift in recent dating culture. Vogue is reaffirming the idea that as a woman you can have it all– big dreams, career aspirations, fulfilling friendships, and a healthy relationship, if that’s what you desire.
Edited by: Maia Simmons