Just Because It's Over Doesn’t Mean You're Over.

How to Stay Locked In When a Relationship Ends.

BY Olivia Longabardi ★ DECEMBER 14th, 2025

Design by: Christina Liguori

Maybe you just got dumped. Maybe you did the dumping. Regardless of how it ended, staying focused on your goals can feel impossible when your mind is tangled in what-ifs, old memories, or the weight of starting over. Breakups shake your routine, your emotions, and sometimes even your sense of self—but they don’t get to take your future with them. Here are four ways to stay grounded, stay intentional, and stay locked in while navigating the gravity of heartbreak.

1. Go outside.

It sounds simple, but when your instinct is to curl up in bed and cry (valid), stepping outside can be transformative. Feel your feelings—especially in the beginning—but don’t let them swallow you whole. The hardest part is getting up; once you do, the day loosens its grip a little.

Touch grass. Literally. Go to a park, walk around campus, sit by a lake, hike a trail—whatever brings you peace. You might even find a new hobby in the process. And you don’t have to do it alone; bring a friend who can lighten your mood, distract your brain, or simply sit beside you. Fresh air won’t fix everything, but it will make room to breathe.

2. Check back in with your goals and passions.

Ask yourself: “What does becoming the best version of me look like right now?” Breakups make everything blurry. Being honest with yourself helps you identify what’s hurting you most and what you actually need.

Reconnect with the things that brought you joy before the relationship—your hobbies, your routines, your ambitions. Remember: your life was full before them, and it will be full again. Your happiness is rooted in so much more than one person.

3. Let it out. Talk to someone.

Don’t bottle it up. Tell someone you trust how you’re feeling, what’s weighing on you, and where you feel stuck. Do this on a long walk, during a coffee run, or even while completing step #1.

Having someone listen—really listen—can help untangle the thoughts that have been holding you back. They might encourage you to get back into reading, try a new study method, or pick up the hobby your sadness temporarily stole from you. Sometimes just knowing someone is in your corner makes healing feel less impossible.

4. Make a weekly to-do list with new hobbies to try.

Breakups disrupt structure; rebuilding it helps rebuild you. Each week, write down 2–4 hobbies, goals, or small tasks you want to try. Then actually try them. Visualizing your intentions is one of the easiest ways to motivate yourself.

Put your list somewhere you’ll see every day—your mirror, your laptop, your wall. The constant reminder keeps you accountable and gives you something to look forward to. Healing takes time, but action helps move it forward.

Edited by: Anna Altman