Against All Odds (and Miles): Your Long-Distance Guidebook

How I went from and anti-LDR to making it work — one FaceTime at a time.

BY Sophie Miller ★ DECEMBER 14th, 2025

Photo Credit: Sophie Miller

I used to swear I'd never do long distance. In fact, just a week before meeting my boyfriend, I told my friend to end things with hers before college. In my mind, long-distance relationships were doomed from the start. 

Then, of course, I met someone who completely changed my mind. Suddenly, exploring Syracuse’s hookup culture didn’t seem nearly as appealing as holding on to something real. Still, I was terrified. My older brother's messy long-distance breakup had convinced me that distance kills relationships, and I couldn’t stop thinking, "What if that happens to me?” But now, months later, I can confidently say it was worth every bit of effort. 

So, let’s talk about the reality of juggling a long-distance relationship in college: the good, the hard and the honest truth about what it takes to actually make it work. 

The communication complication

Some days are harder than others when it comes to communication. Maybe your partner doesn’t answer you all day and later goes out without having the chance to fully talk. This is totally normal and something that can be worked on and improved. 

Communication is key. Even if you both have a long, busy day, a short snap video or text message every couple hours can remind your partner you are thinking about them. It’s important to communicate with your partner when you may not be able to talk as much — and in those extra busy times, a small act of thoughtfulness can go a long way.  

Keeping the spark alive

How is it possible to keep the spark alive while living miles and miles away from each other? Try creative options such as FaceTime dates before bed, even if they are just five minutes to say goodnight. You could even try a FaceTime date for important moments, such as an anniversary. For our anniversary, we sent each other food and enjoyed it together on the phone. We were still able to celebrate with each other, despite the physical distance between us. 

A FaceTime date may seem cheesy, but it can genuinely be fun and comforting. Try having movie nights together in some capacity. Utilize Netflix Party, where you can simultaneously watch a movie and pause to chat or react to the scenes. Grab some popcorn and a candle and enjoy a cozy movie night with your partner; it may bring you comfort to partake in an activity you used to do together so often. 

Trust and independence

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: greek life. At Syracuse, the prominent greek life is undeniable, but having a boyfriend should never stop you from living it up to the max. As long as there is trust and confidence in the relationship, there should be no problem for either you or your partner to go for a fun night out. When my boyfriend and I started long distance, I said to him, "I will be going out every weekend (many times) and will wear what I want. You need to trust me for this to work.” From that point on, the one rule we have is that whenever we go out, we should text each other when we get back home, no matter how late it may be.

Being independent in a relationship is KEY! If you’re too reliant on your partner, not only will you lose yourself but your relationship won't be able to grow substantially. You need time for yourself to explore your goals in college and plan for the future. If you FaceTime your partner every second of the day, you won’t have time to be an active member of clubs or branch out socially and academically. You need to stay focused on your professional and social goals in college, even while in a long distance relationship. 

Reality check

If you find that your relationship is mainly rocky, and that you may be held back from experiencing college to its fullest, you need to re-evaluate whether your relationship is serving you or not. 

It may not be over entirely but just put on pause. Staying in an unhealthy relationship can actually push you two away rather than keep you together in the long run. If you want a future with this person, perhaps it will help both of you grow to spend some time apart before committing to each other in a serious capacity. If you two are meant to be, I promise you’ll gravitate back to each other in the near future. In the meantime, take advantage of learning how to thrive on your own. 

Ultimately, you need to follow your heart and prioritize yourself. It's okay to be selfish; if you feel like you're missing out on being single, if you want to grow independently or even if you don't wish for someone to rely on you in such a pivotal moment in life, you’re simply putting your own priorities first. You need to be honest with yourself about the way you are feeling. 

College is a time to prioritize yourself and your career over others. If your partner is consuming your life instead of being a pleasant addition to it, then re-think the situation. At the end of the day, as someone who was once an active advocate against LD relationships, I’m now a strong supporter. I’ll always be here for anyone who needs help navigating their own.

Edited by: Anna Altman