Set the Expectations in Your Relationships: Why and How to Set Boundaries
Because Consent is Sexy.
BY Olivia Longabardi ★ October 29th, 2025
Photo credit: Lola Jeanne Carpio
So you just got into a relationship? How exciting! You realize you really like this guy, or girl, and you want to explore with them without crossing your boundaries. Maybe you don’t know your comfort levels yet, and that’s totally okay!
Consent is always important for both parties involved, whether you are married, hooking up, or even having a one-night stand. So what is consent? And how can you communicate it to your partner without it being awkward or confusing?
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, better known as RAINN, describes consent as "a mutual agreement to engage in sexual activity" .Consent sounds simple, but that doesn’t mean both parties are always clear on what someone enjoys or finds pleasurable. Now that you know what consent is, here are three good ways to explain and establish consent with a partner.
Establish boundaries with your partner before sexual activity.
Express what you are and aren't comfortable with. Communication is key. You may be okay with something when maybe your partner isn’t. And vice versa! If you have a conversation before any sexual activity, you will prevent any confusion or blurry lines. Also remember to update them if any of your interests or dislikes change, so they can have clarity and you can have your needs met.
2. Check in with your partner, and vice versa.
Even if someone may appear to be enjoying something, that doesn’t always mean they are. If they look unsure or uncomfortable, it is always wise to check up on them and ask if they are okay with what you are doing. If they say no, or still seem unsure, that is your key to stop immediately. This should also be done in reverse–they should be checking on you as well.
3. Respect boundaries.
Respecting boundaries at all times is a given. There are many different ways to respect boundaries besides talking before and checking in. Always make sure that your partner feels valued and appreciated in your relationship, even outside of the bedroom.
Enjoying a night or time with your partner should be fun. By following these three rules (and many more), you can find the perfect balance between what you do and don’t enjoy. Stay safe!
Edited by: Anna Altman