The Morning After Mindset
Those post-hook-up thoughts nobody wants to talk about
BY Anna Boling ★ October 29th, 2025
Photo credit: Georgia Kaufman
Alright. It’s Halloweekend or maybe just a random Saturday. Oh – and it’s 8:34 in the morning. Your mascara is smudged, and your winged eyeliner is giving less pristine precision and more raccoon-caught-in-the-headlights. You have ten missed calls from your friends and probably a few compromising videos of yourself in the group chat. And your hangxiety (that super fun feeling when hangover meets anxiety) is raging.
Your mind is probably coming up with a highlight reel from last night, replaying every moment until you’re walking home, boots in hand, hair a mess and probably wearing his oversized Knicks sweatshirt. Or maybe you are still in their bed, scrolling on TikTok and figuring out how to leave without it being awkward. Either way, the after is the part that nobody really talks about.
Let’s be real; the morning after a hookup can be a pretty heady mix of emotions. Maybe you’re thrilled about who is next to you in bed or maybe that uneasy ‘what now?’ feeling is stirring. Either way, you’re not alone. College culture often glamorizes the hookup itself but usually skips over the emotional hangover that follows.
If it’s comforting at all, there is actually a biological reason for the “morning-after spiral,” and why it hits so hard. Our bodies release oxytocin and dopamine during intimacy, which are both hormones that create feelings of connection and pleasure. When those chemicals begin to fade, the crash can make our minds fight tug-of-war style between “wow, that was great!” and “oh-no, what have I done?” Also,college hookups often happen in that murky “what are we?” territory. So really, we’re not to blame for our subsequent messy thoughts.
I promise – even if you were fully in control of your decision, it is normal and natural to question it later. Did it mean anything? Should I text them? Will it be awkward when I see them on campus? These thoughts are just part of being human, and even though our culture doesn’t always seem to agree with this statement, women are allowed to feel complex things about sex.
It is okay to just let it be a hookup and simply mean just that. What matters most isn’t whether it should have happened, but whether you understand what it meant for you. It could be liberating, disappointing, or both. It is worth remembering that your morning-after emotions don’t necessarily reflect what the other person is thinking.
Don’t play games in your mind, trying to figure out how they feel or their interpretation of what transpired the night before. Instead of searching for signs or picking daisy petals – Do I text him; Don’t I text him – ask yourself the harder, more important question. How do you feel about what happened?
It is important to try not to dissect every detail. If you’re someone who tends to feel anxious after casual hookups, don’t beat yourself up. You don’t have to fit into the “hookup culture.” Your emotional wiring probably just needs a bit more context or communication, which not so shockingly, is pretty much a fundamental need of humans in general. Knowing that is your power.
Basically, what I am saying is that the morning after doesn’t have to solely be about regret. Let yourself learn from the hookup. If it is a story you laugh about the next day, great. If it is one you quietly learn from, also great. These morning afters are what give you more insight into what you want and how you want to feel in the future.
So if you accidentally wake up this weekend and your mind starts racing, take a breath. And if it was really that bad, well, UGirl has a “Hookups from Hell” section for a reason!
Edited by: Anna Altman