The Benefits of Swearing Off the Situationship
Winning in the war zone between single and dating.
by BELLA TABAK ★ MARCH 23, 2023
I have an unfortunate confession to make. I have become extremely accustomed to the situationship. Just to be clear, I am not talking about those who consider themselves engaging in friends with benefits, f*ck buddies, or casual, feelingless hookups. No, this is for those awkwardly stuck between being single or dating. After plenty of personal trial and error over the years, I have promised myself to stay sworn off the situationship. So, here are my top three reasons for why you should ditch your situationship.
#1 Loyalty without a label never ends well
Maybe you have decided on being “exclusive”, and already the lines blur when you find out they made out with someone else. You end up ignoring those guys in your DMS, not answering that girl on Tinder, or going radio silent on your list of possible hookups on Snapchat. Why? Budding romance? But when it’s all over and you have to start back at square one, you may end up feeling dumb.
If you are not in a relationship, that person has no incentive on being loyal, so return the favor. We are off the situationship, you are single until you are taken! Answer that other guy who wants to take you out, flirt with that girl who catches your eye at the bar. If that person at the top of your roster is jealous, tell them to put a ring on it, or butt out.
#2 Nothing like love bombing
Your phone is continuously buzzing, they are bombarding you with text messages. How was your day baby? What did you eat for lunch? They hook you on their attention. A few days later, crickets. Or what if you originally believe that the guy you are spending your time with wants more than just playing around in the sheets? However, his actions end up reflecting that he only sees you as a hookup. Awkward, will still never get over that he blamed situationship-dumping me on needing to focus on his baseball career…
Confusion, in my opinion, is the absolute worst part about a situationship. Do they actually like me? Does this person even want a relationship right now? If you are asking yourself similar questions, obviously this person is not beneficial to you. Life is way too short to be stuck in a situation where you are second-guessing every move being made. When their words and their actions end up going in opposite directions, you can exit stage left.
#3 You are too hot to settle for less
If you are in the market for a relationship, do not settle for a situationship. Being single is always better than being stuck with someone that is not fulfilling your wants and needs. I was struck with this realization at the beginning of the semester. My situationship was no longer worth the hassle, so I ended it. While on my walk home, I was incredibly surprised that my mind was not clouded with sadness. Instead, I felt an overwhelming amount of relief. No more worrying about someone who was not worried about me, thank goodness!
I was now able to refocus my attention on a very special girl. Of course, that girl is me. More time for typing away on my keyboard, writing about topics I love. Or staying out later with my friends, not wondering what bed I was going to end up in. I could actually do my coursework. Maybe even read a book. I could do whatever I wanted in the extra room in my schedule. I gained a new appreciation for my own time resulting from the end of that romantic entangle. So, can we please cancel the situationship? Clearly, they are confusing and a waste of everyone’s time. We need to stay heartless and look out for ourselves until a relationship is defined. There is no more gray area, just black and white. Single or dating.