Loving in Private

Why it’s okay not to post your significant other all over social media.

by ALEXANDRIA FABRIZI ★ MARCH 6, 2023

Let’s be honest, we have all fallen victim to the demands of social media at one point in time. We face the pressure of trying to reach a certain number of likes or wondering why a certain person didn’t comment on our most recent post. Your life becomes more public as you live it for the attention and validation of others. I get it. You post your ootd, feeling confident and trendy. Or that picture of your walk through campus because it just seems artsy. We all do it and respect it, but some things in life are sometimes just too precious and sensitive to always be exposed to the public gaze—and one of these things is love.

There is constant pressure within our society to let everyone know what you are doing through social media. If you have just entered a relationship, they will want to know. There is this sense that your followers, friends, and family will feel betrayed if you didn’t post the news. Let them feel “betrayed.” Protect your peace and your personal life, especially when it comes to love.

Here is why it is perfectly ok to do so: 

#1: Love is experimental.

At this time in your life, love is completely experimental—it is unknown and difficult to navigate through. Why let everyone else’s thoughts and opinions into this journey when it is already overwhelming to try to figure it out yourself? Feel no shame in keeping private your love story and exciting new romance a secret. 

#2: Love is personal.

The feelings between you and your partner are only truly understood by you both. Once posted on social media, others can be quick to react. If you open up your love story to the world, there can be questions and comments. You do not owe anyone the answers- so why give them the opportunity to ask? It is totally okay to embrace the personal nature of love and leave yours out of everyone’s daily feed. Your love is yours, and yours only. So, give yourself the space and permission to love in private that you desire, and the pressures of validation will fade. No one can pry into your personal life if you choose not to make it public.

#3: You deserve to enjoy love.

If you fear the intrusion of others’ thoughts and insight into your relationship, it is perfectly appropriate to keep your love at a distance from your social media. Allowing other people into your relationship can potentially cause conflict, and this is a valid concern. Social media can produce drama and unintended harm within your relationship as followers get jealous and judgmental. In choosing to keep your relationship private, you can respectfully maintain your happiness and be unbothered by outside influences.

Stay true to your love, and it will stay true to you. Feel no shame in keeping things private, as you are only looking out for yourself and your experience of falling in love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ghosting your followers when it comes to your relationship, as you owe no information to them, but there is also absolutely nothing wrong with posting your significant other if that’s what you want to do—just do you. And remember, most importantly, all you owe is peace to yourself.