The Expectations and Realities of Love

Not everything is like the movies.

by MARGARET MATTHEWS ★ NOVEMBER 10, 2022

I am obsessed with rom-coms. The reason why I watch them so much is because I love, love. Since I was twirling around in princess dresses as a young girl, I have looked forward to finding my prince charming. The idea of falling in love has always mesmerized me and made me want to find the love that I saw when Harry met Sally. 

The love portrayed on the big screen creates utterly high, and to be honest, downright unrealistic expectations for partners. But, on the other hand, it also shows what we all deserve in a healthy and loving relationship. So… then what’s the difference between movies and real life???

Timelines. Okay, to point out the obvious, movies are usually two hours long and only include so much. In real life, there are going to be a lot more ups and downs than the ones your favorite couples experience in the theater. There are so many more memories you are going to create with your partner, good and bad. So don’t be scared of that, be excited about it. 

Independence. Rom-coms often make it seem like girls need a guy to feel any sort of affection. Although you may rely on a partner for feelings of affection, you have to discover self-love before committing to a relationship. Learning and loving yourself will prepare you to love someone else completely. Also, if you are single, don’t be discouraged—finding yourself is just as important as finding someone else. 

Disagreements. There are barely any disagreements between partners in movies. Don’t think that your relationship isn’t necessarily working because you don’t agree with your partner on something. That is normal and honestly, healthy. Make sure to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and compromise through the issue—you are not always going to be right. Listen to your partner but also follow your heart. If you are angry or upset about how your significant other is acting, tell them, but don’t deal with unnecessary behavior. 

Breaking up. I can count on one hand the number of rom-coms I have seen where the couple has broken up. Most couples won’t experience a “happily ever after.” Breaking up is sometimes a good thing for the health of both partners. 

Knowing what you deserve. Just because the movies are unrealistic with their storylines doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve a love less fulfilling. Know what you deserve, and if your gut is telling you that you aren’t getting 100% from your partner, it may be time to break it off. 

Although the movies aren’t identical to real life they teach us a lot about ourselves and what we want in a relationship. So… don’t be afraid to take chances and don’t be discouraged by the movies—be encouraged by them. I mean, who knows, maybe you will find someone who will hold a boombox outside of your front window and kiss you in the rain.

XOXO.