Women Have Sex Too: Ending the Stigma
It takes two to tango.
by ELENA FLISZARY ★ OCTOBER 20, 2022
Sex. A normal topic of conversation for men but a shameful one for women. Women were raised to think that talking about sex was ‘unladylike’ or ‘taboo’; that women’s sex lives were something that was meant to go unspoken about. This stigma has led to women, especially in college, finding it difficult to talk about their sexuality to friends and partners. But when is society going to finally wake up and realize that we have sex lives too?
Women have been objectified and over-sexualized for as long as I can remember. I think I speak for all women when I say that I can think of multiple instances where we have felt objectified, even for just existing as a woman. I have heard guys call girls “easy” just because they went home with someone, and girls call other girls a “slut” for wearing a going-out top where her boobs were out. The boys are one thing, but girls putting down other girls? That’s a low blow babe. But when we are objectified by others, we start to objectify ourselves. When we objectify ourselves, we are afraid to explore and embrace our sexuality.
The way to end this stigma is to start embracing our sexuality and having fun with it. Find friends you feel comfortable talking about sex with. I’m talking about the type of friends that will listen to every hookup story and take in every detail—both the pretty and the ugly. Friends that will give you sex tips and advice, and will also come to you about similar things. Real besties know about each other’s sex lives.
Ladies, there’s no reason to be having bad sex in college. We’ve all heard the term, “sex is for men.” But why shouldn’t sex be for women too? When you begin to explore your sexuality, you learn what you want. You begin to know what feels good and what doesn’t. And these are things that should be expressed to your partner. If something doesn’t feel good, tell them. If you want something done differently, tell them. Besides, people need a humbling sometimes. Sex should be something that both people enjoy. It shouldn’t be something where one is getting more out of it than the other. Life is good when you’re having good sex.
It is also so important to explore your sexuality and femininity on your own. Through trial and error and talking to others, you learn more about yourself and what you like when it comes to sex. It’s all about finding your confidence. Do what makes you feel good and wear what makes you feel good. Female sexuality and confidence go hand in hand with each other. Embracing sexuality builds confidence.
It’s time for women to stop being shy about sex. There should be absolutely no shame in having sex, talking about sex, or knowing what you want from a partner. Girls, especially in college, should feel comfortable talking about sex with their friends and partners. In my opinion, college is the prime time to start exploring female sexuality. Whether men like to admit it or not, women are sexual beings just as much as men are… if not more. So, if you want to go home with that guy, do it. And if you like that going out top, wear it.