Cutting Off What Hurts
Some friends are lessons, not lifetimes.
by Camie Devlin ★ APRIL 7th, 2026
Photo Credit: Abby Luca
First, think…
What do you define as a good friend? Do you feel comfortable with them? Do they seem genuine towards you? Are they good communicators? But most importantly, do they treat you with respect?
Being in a stage of a friendship where you begin to question who that person truly is gets complicated. I’m not talking about what they’ve done in the past for you, but how they are treating you in that very exact moment. Losing a friend or thinking about dropping them is harder said than done, but what’s harder is staying in a friendship that is constantly hurting you.
The Denial Stage
Every person on this earth changes, it’s just how life works. We grow into new environments, meet new people or become inspired to change for the better or worse. We often tend to be in a denial stage before dropping a friend or experience thoughts of going back to them because we reminisce on those significant memories with that person. The truth is, that person is different from who you met at first. It is something you have to accept, and you must remind yourself to focus on the present, not the past.
Your Sign to Walk Away
You may say to yourself, “They hurt me, but they also did this for me, maybe it’s not a big deal.” People make mistakes and it is important to give others grace, but it gets to a point where your feelings should be the first priority. Here are some signs when you should be walking away to protect your peace.
Their actions are repetitive. If you keep allowing them to constantly disrespect you over and over again, then they will never change because they know that they can walk all over you.
You can’t express your feelings without being dismissed. A huge part of a healthy friendship is being able to communicate with the other in a respectful manner.
The friendship itself is affecting you mentally. Your friendships should be a support system, not something that tears you down. Your mental health needs to come first and that is when the cycle of pleasing people will minimize overtime.
Be the Mature One
Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us, but losing a friend doesn’t have to be messy. You don’t even have to owe them an explanation because in some cases, they don’t deserve it. It’s important to stay calm and assertive in this situation because if you act out of place or say hurtful things, then it’s not a good look on you. Using “I” statements rather than pointing fingers is mature and allows the other person to understand that you’re speaking from your experience, not theirs. It also gives them the opportunity to grow and self-reflect on their actions without feeling villainized. This takes time and bravery to accomplish; it shouldn’t be so easy to let someone go that you cherished. In the end, choosing you is one of the strongest forms of self-respect and that is something you should be proud of.
Edited by: Anna Altman