The Want vs. The Have

 Replacing desire with appreciation.

by HANNAH KARLIN ★ AUGUST 11, 2022

There was a girl. She wanted: more friends, a toned figure, trendy room decor, a loving boyfriend, picture-worthy fits, an overall "better" college experience, and everything else imaginable. She kept wanting, wanting, and wanting… until her wanting turned into disappointment—unsettled by the status quo.

This girl is all of us. While individuality differentiates, we connect with her constant sense of desire. And even if we won't admit it, we probably connect with her aspirations, as well. 

It's common to always want something. I mean, that's how we grew up—from wanting our mothers as babies to Prada as young adults. It's the pipeline. We always want what's better, whether society deems it or not.

It's the resulting lack of satisfaction that fractures us. We are never pleased with our lives, no matter how good they actually are. The constant “want'' takes apart our lives, like a seamstress. It forces us to pick apart the fabric—disregarding the true quality of what we already have. 

There's this cliche to "look at the glass half full." Trust me, I am not into all of the positivity nonsense either, but I have learned to believe this: when you think about all the things you're missing, think about everything you actually have. "I want more friends." Well, think about the few good ones you have that would absolutely do anything for you. 

This mentality allows us to live more appreciative lives, where we can learn to enjoy our present rather than want for our future. We can focus on what is in front of us and learn to achieve happiness. Who ever told us that we didn't have enough? It was only ourselves.

However, I'm not saying it's unreasonable to strive for more—better grades, more connections, a relationship. That's admirable and normal. If you want something, then, by all means, go for it and put forth the effort. What I'm referring to is the obsessive, constant need—the thoughts that block out any appreciation for the beautiful lives we have built up. 

We have created a picture-perfect image of what we ought to have. Well, can you actually name one person who "has it all?" And if you think they do, then think again. Yes, on Instagram, it may seem like she has the clothes, the travel, the family. But, you don't see the image's flaws: the messy family life and the constant anxiety. Everyone's story differs, and everyone's problems persist.

So, when we think about the need, let's think about what we actually have. Of course, that girl in all of us will always want something, but knowing how to regulate such thoughts makes all the difference. Let's start appreciating.

Ready, set, go. 

Cover Photo Credit: Pinterest