Why Do They Come Back? You Know They ALWAYS Will

Ghosting season never really ends — but when spring rolls around, so do the texts. Here’s the psychology behind why the guys who disappeared suddenly reappear, and why the best response might be leaving them on read.

BY Jane Moss ★ March 13th, 2026

Photo Credit: Bonita Roka

Spring is officially here, and with it comes warmer weather, longer days, and - right on schedule - a text from him. Whether it’s a talking stage that fizzled out, a what-if that never quite was, or someone who simply vanished without a word, they always seem to crawl back the second the year begins anew, and the temperature rises. Now, this should not shock you. You do, however, need to be prepared for when this does happen. Let’s dive into the psychology behind why they ghost, why they came back, and what to do when this happens.

Usually, ghosting isn’t actually about you, even if you’re the one being ghosted. A lot of guys simply cannot handle confrontation. They would rather disappear than sit with their own emotions, let alone yours. They are avoiding a situation they don’t know how to maturely end, and it says everything about them and nothing about you and your own worth.

A harder pill to swallow is that they got what they wanted from you and saw no reason to continue. Essentially, they were bored. No drama, no explanation, just a disappearance from your life. And of course, the classic “I need to focus on [insert sport/myself/literally anything],” as if you weren’t also out here navigating an entire life on your own.

So why do they come back? After being ghosted, you're forced to sit with your own thoughts, completely void of closure and extremely confused. But sit tight, because they will come back; they always do. It might start with a casual “what have you been up to?” or an attempt at being funny with the overused “new year, new us?” sliding into your DMs as if nothing happened. Before you even think about responding, it helps to understand what is driving their message and newfound communication.

1. They regret it. What you brought into their life clearly mattered more than their actions suggested. However, the problem lay in that it took losing it for them to realize it. That’s not a love story. That’s a life lesson for them. 

2. They couldn’t find better. Some guys leave convinced they are settling with you, but come back almost immediately when their search didn’t go the way they obviously had hoped for. Taking them back doesn’t prove you’re forgiving. It proves that you’re okay with being someone’s backup plan.

3. They need validation. You were a source of confidence for them, and after ghosting, they lost that. That late-night dm isn’t because he misses you, it’s because he misses the attention you used to provide him.

4. They’re just curious. As awful and frustrating as it is, this is probably the most common. Some guys are simply selfish enough to check in on how you’re doing for their own entertainment. Are you doing better? Worse? Have you moved on or met someone new? This personal validation disguised as small talk is disgusting, and while it costs them nothing to send, it could cost you a night, way too deep into your own thoughts over someone who isn’t genuinely coming back. 

Here’s my opinion: don’t go back. Not because you’re bitter and can’t forgive, but because if they had truly valued what you had, they would have protected it. If they truly mean what they say when they come back, they never would’ve done what they did to hurt you in the first place. However, this return is actually a compliment in disguise and should be taken as nothing more, nothing less. It means everything you thought about yourself was right all along. So let them stay in your read receipts. Spring looks better on you anyway.

Edited by: Anna Atlman