Tiny Betrayals

A Guide to Microcheating.

BY Katie Browne ★ April 10th, 2026

Photo Credit: Jane Moss

We know all too well that sinking feeling when something feels off in our relationships. In a perfect world, you wouldn’t get that suspicious feeling from likes on certain Instagram posts, or a twinge of anxiety about what seems like every girl on campus in his Snapchat. But let’s face it, no one exists in that reality. And here, in the messy real world, an emerging gray area can be blamed for the failure of many relationships, summed up by the modern term: Microcheating. 

Microcheating: subtle, secretive behaviors that breach trust in a committed relationship without necessarily involving sexual activity. Not quite cheating, but not quite loyal either.

It’s a trendy topic, especially in college. Surrounded by parties, bars, and new faces in every direction, everyone now seems to have a different definition of loyalty. What are the expectations? What’s too controlling? What’s the bare minimum? Let’s look at some awkward situations that may have driven you into a mental spiral before and ask: Could this be microcheating?

Scenario 1: Liking someone’s Instagram story

You get a DM from a girl you don’t know, telling you your boyfriend liked her Instagram story. And I’m sorry to say, it’s not a repost about his favorite football team. It’s a bikini picture. 

Let’s go with a yes for this one. Liking Instagram stories is a subtle, but not so discrete gesture, saying “I like what I see.” If your partner is actively showing interest or attraction to someone else, even though they didn’t physically do anything, it can feel like cheating even if it technically isn’t. 

Scenario 2: Texting someone else frequently

You notice that a specific person has been texting your partner all the time. You ask them about it, and they brush it off. Is this microcheating?

This can be confusing. Texting and friendships can be harmless. After all, we’re all allowed to have close friendships. But if it’s taking priority over you, flirty, or a little bit secretive, it’s on thin ice. Don’t jump to conclusions, but don’t turn a blind eye. 

Scenario 3: Flirting 

You’re out at the same party as your boyfriend. You notice that he’s flirting with other girls he’s talking to, but never going further than that. 

Yes, this could be microcheating. Some people brush this off as just having a “flirty personality,” but I think most of us would agree this is more uncomfortable than ok.

Scenario 4: Downplaying relationship status to others

You and your boyfriend have made it official that you are dating, or maybe exclusive. But around his friends or other girls, he downplays it to nothing serious.

Yes, this is the classic “keeping my options open” situation. While technically committed, still keeping the door open for emotional availability. If it makes your heart sink every time you witness it happen, don’t shrug it off. 

Relationships and expectations are never easy to navigate. Overanalyzing situations can be harmful, but if something is constantly giving you a weird feeling, it is likely just a step down from cheating.

Edited by: Anna Altman