The seven stages of grief (of your long-distance low low-commitment casual boyfriend)

A step-by-step guide to getting over your last situationship 

by Georgia Kaufman ★ October 14th, 2025

Photo credit: Georgia Kaufman

So, things ended…again. You may be feeling rough, or you may have this newfound sense of freedom. Maybe a sudden urge to cut yourself some bangs? Whatever it is, I see you, girlfriend. Trust me. 

You had a good run, in all honesty. Congratulations, by the way, on escaping one of the worst things mankind has created in the past decade. Now let’s figure out how to get over it.

Stage 1: Shock and Denial: “I’m free, but also, I can’t believe it’s over?” 

The first few days post-situationship feel like you’re a horse trotting through an open meadow. Life is beautiful, and you’ve never known happiness like the feeling of freeing yourself from the shackles of an emotionally unavailable man.

I prescribe: staying crushless for as long as possible.

Stage 2: Anger: “Why did I spend so much emotional currency on this one person?”

It’s because you liked them!! Having a crush is completely normal. Having it become your nine to five? Not so much. Act your wage, and know that you only pay girlfriend taxes when somebody has the honor of calling you their significant other. Take this time to view what you may feel was wasted time as a valuable lesson in emotional accounting.

I prescribe: ACC201.

Stage 3: Bargaining: “Okay, maybe he wasn’t soooo bad? Do I miss him?”

Immediate answer: baby, no. And please, for the love of God, do not view his Instagram account. I promise you, it will get better. But, by rehashing old wounds, you are only making things worse.

I prescribe: Picking up a hobby.

Stage 4: Depression: “Fuck! I do miss him! I think?”

Girl, I get it. Honestly. But, trust me, you don’t miss him. You are feeling lonely and sad, which is completely valid. Stay strong. The feeling of existential dread will pass.

I prescribe: Inaccessibility to redownload Hinge.

Stage 5: Upward turn: “Was he awesome? Or were the good times I had with him just a reflection of how awesome I am?”

The latter. Always the latter. There are so many fish in the sea. Which is why you keep having the same experience over and over again. Trust me when I tell you that you are the most valuable asset you can bring to the table. Take some time to reflect on what it is that makes you so awesome.

I prescribe: Journaling by candlelight.

Stage 6: Acceptance: “I think I’m actually over it”

Baby, there is no plane. There never was a plane. Not even an airport. Glad you’ve finally come to this conclusion. Buy yourself something nice.

I prescribe: Buying a new pajama set from Target.

Stage 7: Hope: “There’s this cute guy in my class…”

A realm of new hopes, dreams, and crushes. We forget about the suffering we have endured and we begin the cycle once again.

I prescribe: Daydreaming and posting a thirst trap on your Instagram story.

Edited by: Dayna Bhatti Roberts