Closet Fillers: A Metaphor for Modern Relationships

design: Gianna Lanfrank

Love, clothes, and choices.

by ADRIANA DIFLORIO ★ FEBRUARY 27, 2024

You're rifling through your closet, sifting through heaps of clothes that you could wear but never seem to. It's frustrating, staring at all these garments that never quite make the cut. I call them "closet fillers." Yep, guilty as charged, I've got my fair share of those too. Nowadays, when I'm shopping, I try my best to ask myself, "Is this just going to be another closet filler?" and if the answer is yes, I force myself to part ways with the article of clothing I had my heart set on.

But this idea of closet fillers got me thinking…why don't we approach our relationships the same way we tackle our closets? I know, it might sound a bit unconventional. But hear me out, and I think you’ll agree.

We often find ourselves pouring time and energy into relationships simply because they're convenient. Sometimes, we settle for romantic relationships, even if they don't really fit in our lives. In college especially, it's easy to slip into a relationship for the sake of security even though it may not be truly fulfilling. 

These types of relationships are just like an article of clothing we keep but don't wear. The allure of picture-perfect relationships plastered across social media tempts us to settle for less than we deserve, much like settling for a piece of clothing simply because it's on sale and trendy. However, when has your favorite article of clothing been something you settled for? 

After all, boyfriends in your twenties aren't always forever, but a piece of clothing you absolutely love? That's a lifelong companion. It's important to recognize that relationships, like fashion trends, can change and evolve with time. While some may become lifelong connections, others may serve their purpose for a season before parting ways. 

That’s why it’s so important to consider the way relationships affect our lives and identity. As much as people ignore this potentially awkward topic, people still date each other simply chasing comfort or an image. This is a problem that happens so often in today's dating scene. I’m talking about the people that get into relationships and completely forget about their friendships. It’s like they’ve found one person they want to spend all their time on and forget about the friendships before. We have to remember that this is all temporary. Don't buy something you know you're only going to wear a couple of times.

At this age, we don’t shop knowing we're going to wear what we buy forever. Instead, we simply grow out of our clothes, similar to how we grow out of relationships. So when it comes to relationships with guys (or girls) in their twenties–it's crucial to think of them like your favorite article of clothing, rather than something we keep around because we might wear it in the future. Ask yourself what kind of place they're holding in your life, and how long you see yourself “wearing” them for. 

This isn't about being single for your four years of college. College is not merely a space for fleeting romances–it’s a place for growth and exploration. Yes, relationships may form, but they can also come and go. 

At the end of the day, it's important to invest in relationships that truly resonate with who we are and where we want to go, just like choosing that perfect piece of clothing that never fails to make us feel confident and comfortable. 

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