Your Guide to a First Date

design: Gianna Lanfrank

And how to lock in a second one.

by ELENA FLISZARY ★ SEPTEMBER 19, 2023

I’ve been on all sorts of dates– good dates, bad dates, double dates… does that make me a serial dater? Who knows. But what I do know is that there is nothing more important than the first date. It’s the date that sets the precedent for the success, or failure, of the entire relationship. The lead up to it is probably the most nerve wracking thing I can think of. But the nerves all come down to one persistent question: “how do I do this first date right?” Through trial and error, I’ve learned how to do a first date right…and secure a second one.

The Importance of Keeping to HIS Word

If a guy says he wants to take you out, he better be doing just that: taking you out. A date doesn’t necessarily have to cost money like going to dinner. Instead of spending money, you can go on a hike. But out means out, no matter where that is. If a guy claims he wants to take you out and then ends up asking you to come over one random night to “chill,” that’s not a date. Know what you want, know what you’re looking for, and if he won’t take you out on a real date, someone else will.

Look Your Best, Feel Your Best 

Getting ready for a first date is almost as exciting as the date itself. If your date is at 8 p.m., there’s nothing wrong with starting to get ready at 5 p.m. (trust me, I’ve done it). There’s no worse feeling than the feeling of being rushed. Take in every moment of the experience of getting ready to look and feel your best. That doesn’t mean you need to go out of your wardrobe comfort zone just to impress a guy. He already likes you enough as you are– I mean, you’re about to go on a date with him. Wear something that you feel good and comfortable in, and do your hair and makeup in a way that makes you feel like the hottest version of yourself. 

Know the First Date Etiquette 

There are certain unspoken rules about the first date that everyone should know. We might have a love/hate relationship with these rules, but they do contribute to the overall success of the date.

1. Break the touch barrier. Upon arriving at your date, somehow break the touch barrier. It makes the rest of the date less awkward. Something as simple as going in for a hug when saying hi will make everything seem a lot more comfortable.

2. There’s nothing a guy likes more than being able to talk about himself. So let him do just that. Talk about yourself and open up, but allow him to be able to talk about himself by asking questions.

3. Fake it till you make it and kick out the nerves. Sit or stand up straight and make conversation with intent. Try to seem confident but not cocky, and relax. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment. 

4. It’s not a job interview. Flirting is essential when you’re asking questions. You don’t want to make it feel like you’re both being interrogated. Give out a compliment or two and don’t make fun of him for stumbling over his words because he’s probably just as nervous as you are.

5. The worst part of the date is when the bill arrives. You both look at it awkwardly and a wave of panic hits you. But there’s no need to panic. This is what you do: slowly reach for your wallet and offer to split the bill. By offering to split the bill you’re showing him that you're not expecting anything. But almost every single time he’s going to tell you there’s no way you’re paying and he covers the bill. Unless we’re talking about that time I had to pay for both of us…a real gentleman. 

It’s Obvious When You’re Not Acting Like Yourself

Anyone on a date with you is going to notice if you’re not acting like yourself. There is absolutely no reason to tweak your personality for a first date because you think it’ll make you seem more attractive. News flash, it won’t. It’s your true personality that got you asked out in the first place. It’s okay to be a little weird. If he doesn’t like it, then he isn’t the one. We’re all just looking for someone to be a little weird with.

The Date’s Over… Now What?

There’s many ways a date can go after it ends. Sometimes it ends in an abrupt parting of ways, sometimes it ends in a walk, or sometimes it ends in… sex? The idea of sex on the first date is a tale as old as time. But I’m here to tell you that there is no right or wrong answer to sex on the first date. I can’t say I advise against or recommend it because it's specific to every first date. But a mature guy is going to still ask you on a second date even if you do decide to have sex. Sometimes sex even comes before the real first date. There’s also nothing wrong with making him wait just a little longer either…

Reach Out After the Date

So you just got home from an amazing date, and all you can do is replay how the past couple of hours went. But as you’re texting your friends, don’t forget to text him too. Send him a simple text thanking him for taking you out, that you had a great time, and hope to see him soon. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Reaching out afterwards helps to remove any of that post-first-date uncertainty on both ends. 

First dates are meant to be exhilarating moments. Though there are loose guidelines, these suggestions are here to help ensure the best first date possible. Enjoy the thrill of first dates and getting to know someone because you never know what it might turn into. Keeping true to the person you are and knowing what you want out of the first date are the crucial keys to the dating game. With this advice, I can assure a second date is on its way soon ;)