How to Survive Long Distance in College
design: Revati Mahurkar
Kiss me through the phone.
by ERIN PODBELSKI & DANIELLE MCCARTY ★ OCTOBER 26, 2023
So, you met a cute boy at the beginning of the summer. Or maybe you’ve been with your beau all of high school. Either way, choosing to go long distance is a big commitment. If it’s a summer fling it might feel “stupid” to take such a risk with someone you’ve only been with for a few months. But, if you are both determined to make it work and it seems obvious to keep the relationship going, you totally should. Somehow when you start a long distance relationship it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. You are starting a new kind of relationship; creating a new dynamic. Long distance can seem really intimidating and difficult but it can also be extremely rewarding.
Communication
Everyone always says “communication is key” but honestly… What does that even mean? The thing is, communication is individual to the relationship. Some couples call every night, others just once a week– figure out your communication style and talk to your partner about what is best for your relationship. Texting and calling 24/7 can get overwhelming, so finding a balance that works for you is essential to healthy communication. Communication doesn't just help form a sense of connection, it is also super important to be able to communicate to your partner the expectations you have for your relationship while in college or just away from each other.
Expectations
Start off by setting ground rules. I think the most important part of ground rules in a relationship is, “how do you define cheating?” This is so important– cheating is more than just hooking up with someone else, it’s entertaining another person and flirting, too. What someone expects in a relationship varies person by person, so make sure you discuss what you expect with your partner. Having these discussions can help alleviate stress and offer guidance when arguments arise. Relationships aren't always going to be perfect, but if you both are on the same page you two can work through any rough patch.
Live Independently
I know being apart from your partner can be tough but you have to remember to live your life. Keep busy, make new friends, join clubs, and explore the area around you. Having independence allows you to grow and gain new experiences outside of your relationship, experiences you can then share with your partner.
Have Trust
It is completely normal to have times of insecurity and paranoia in a relationship, especially when you are miles away from one another. Remember the love and trust you have for your partner, and the love they have for you. Support them as they make new friends, find their passions, and enjoy their college life. If you find your trust being broken, it is time to really think about the reality of continuing your relationship. No matter the distance, you deserve to be loved and respected.
Make it Fun
Doing long distance isn’t all bad. There are many fun things to do with your partner even when you’re so far away. Making time for each other even in your separate, busy lives has to be one of the most thoughtful gestures to receive. Give each other your schedules. If you're in an important class they’ll know and won’t get worried if you're not responding and vice versa. Some other fun things you can try are facetime dates, making playlists for each other, and planning visits! Long distance can be difficult, so take advantage of the fun parts of it.
Long distance is hard, but seeing your partner for the first time after a month or however long it has been always makes up for the distance within less than a second. Have fun with it, you’re young and in love!