How Romcoms Have Taught Us to Never Settle
Simply wanting a boyfriend isn’t reason enough to have one.
by AVA SWIDLER ★ NOVEMBER 27, 2023
I get it, you want a boyfriend after watching The Notebook or Love Actually. We’ve all been there. But what we see in the movies is not reason enough to lower your standards and date someone not worthy of your love and attention. If 10 Things I Hate About You makes you want a boyfriend then date a Patrick Verona or a Cameron James, not a Joey Donner.
It's just like Emma Stone said in the movie Easy A, “I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie.” With these leading men as our standards, there is no way you can settle for just anyone.
Timing is everything, even in the movies. In the best love story to ever be created, “The Notebook”, we watch Noah and Allie fall madly in love for one another, but it didn't exactly start that way. Noah risked his life multiple times in order to win over just a date with Allie– setting the bar extremely high. As they start dating we watch them fall madly in love, but as summer ends so does their relationship. Eventually, they did get back together and live happily ever after, which was a relief for all of us watching. With the right person, I believe that love always comes back together, and that just because it isn't the right time right now it doesn't mean it won't be in the future. But no matter what, love always wins.
However, love won’t win if you’re with a douchebag… someone had to say it. Do not create these fantasies in your head that this boy would build a house or risk their life for you, because chances are they wouldn't. Do not blind yourself by the idea of wanting love the way it is in the movies so much that you end up dating an asshole. Sooner or later you will realize that this man is not Patrick Veronna and is in fact Joey Donner. I’m not saying that this man NEEDS to build you a house in order to win your heart, but that you should be with someone who would go out of their way to make you happy the same way you would for the right person. Reminder: going out of their way does not mean the bare minimum of “not flirting with other girls,” it means actually going out of his way for you.
In Serendipity, Jonathen Trager goes to every book store he sees and looks through every single book trying to find the book with the phone number of a girl he met. In The Hating Game, Joshua Templeton paints his bedroom walls the same color as Lucy Huttons eyes, because he loves her that much. In The Notebook, Noah Calhoun writes Allie Hamilton a letter everyday for 365 days, and builds her a mansion. If you are with a guy who wouldn't do any of these things for you, run.
It’s time to start dating the guy that’s going to put his fist up in the air when he has you, and dump the guy that doesn't even remember your anniversary, or worse, your birthday. Now that we know (thanks to movies) what a man is capable of, we need to remember this when talking to boys we like. Is he even worth it? Is he good enough for you? Or are you just settling because he is there? Know your worth and don’t forget it. The right guy is out there. So don’t get distracted, focus on what you really want out of a relationship, and find who you really want to be in a relationship with.