The Importance of Knowing Your Love Language
Now every season can be cuffing season.
by SLOANE MOSKOWITZ ★ MARCH 1, 2021
If you’re someone who has struggled with understanding your feelings—breathe—because you’re not alone. This might be a sign for you to sit down and learn a new language: your love language. Learning a new language is hard, and becoming fluent is even harder. Luckily, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” has created a guide to learning you and your partner's love language.
You may be asking, what in the world is a “love language?” Chapman has identified 5 different ways in which we give and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. We all enjoy different aspects of each of the love languages, but we all have a dominant language that we connect with the most. To figure out what your love language is, UGirl’s got you covered!
Words of Affirmation
Sometimes, actions don’t always speak louder than words. While the words “I love you” sound trivial, for a person whose love language is through words of affirmation, it goes a long way. Positive, uplifting, and thoughtful words make a huge difference in your day. You appreciate when others voice validation. One way to achieve this is by telling your SO how proud you are of them or even just telling them that you love their outfit!
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Acts of Service
Let’s be real—who doesn’t love getting breakfast in bed? If your love language is through acts of service, it’s the little things that you adore like someone filling up your gas, taking the dog for a walk, or even folding your laundry. Becoming fluent in this language means focusing on showing your partner affection through actions, big or small.
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Receiving Gifts
Don’t think you’re materialistic if your love language is receiving gifts. This language does NOT mean that you expect a new designer handbag everyday. It just means that you thrive on the effort behind a gift. It gives you butterflies when your partner brings you your favorite flowers after work, or when they buy you the stunning dress in the window that you’ve stopped to look at so many times. Speaking this language entails picking up on the minor details and showing your love with a token of appreciation.
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Quality Time
Nothing says “I love you” like having full, undivided attention. When quality time is your love language, it is important to not only spend physical time with your partner, but be fully present and engaged. Uninterrupted time is crucial. You can achieve this by turning off your phone, going on a long hike with your SO, or even having a deep convo on FaceTime until 3 a.m.
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Physical Touch
While this love language may seem self explanatory, there are so many different ways to care for your partner. Don’t mistake physical touch for being clingy. For some people, skin-to-skin contact is crucial for mental, physical, and emotional health. Whether it's spontaneously giving or receiving back rubs, holding hands in public, or laying on the couch together, a person whose main love language is physical touch will truly value this alone time.
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Knowing, embracing, and appreciating your love language may take some patience and time, but it will improve communication with yourself and your relationships.
Cover photo credit: Pinterest