Want to Thrive in College? Become an Extrovert.

Why changing social habits can change your college experience for the better.

by Ella Barchie ★ March 4th, 2026

Photo credit: Kathrine Schluter

“How to Survive Freshman Year” was a headline I saw everywhere before my first semester at Syracuse. What to buy, how to stay organized, what to bring to class, and social media seemed full of advice about getting through college. But I rarely saw anyone talk about how to actually enjoy it.

Now, as a second-semester freshman, I’ve realized there’s one key element to thriving here: be willing to reach out. This time last year, I was a high school senior surrounded by the same people I had known for over a decade. My friendships were built-in. I didn’t have to introduce myself at lunch or wonder who to sit next to in class. Then suddenly, I was at a university as big as Syracuse, one of thousands, starting from scratch. The idea of rebuilding a social life from nothing felt overwhelming.

For me, the turning point was simple but uncomfortable: talk to other freshmen. In the dining hall. In the hallway. In class before the lecture started. To say this wasn’t hard would be a lie. I constantly worried I was doing “too much” or coming across as awkward. But slowly, I realized something important: everyone else was looking for connection too. We were all new. We were all hoping someone else would break the ice.

One night during the first week, there was a knock on my dorm door. Two girls from down the hall were going door-to-door asking if anyone wanted to grab dinner. I almost didn’t go. I was tired, and it felt easier to stay in. But I said yes. That dinner turned into hours of talking, which turned into shared classes, late-night study sessions, and eventually the friend group I have today. If they hadn’t knocked (or if I hadn’t opened the door), my experience here would look completely different.

This doesn’t mean you have to become a different person. Introversion isn’t a flaw, and being quieter doesn’t mean you don’t belong. Thriving socially in college isn’t about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about practicing small moments of courage. It’s about choosing to initiate sometimes, even when it feels unnatural. The happiest people I’ve met here aren’t necessarily the most outgoing; they’re the ones who take initiative. They suggest the study group. They ask the classmate next to them a question. They knock on the door. Thriving in college requires community. And community doesn’t appear automatically; it’s built. Yes, that can feel like a disadvantage if you’re not used to putting yourself out there. But isn’t college about trying something new? Growth rarely happens inside your comfort zone.

College doesn’t reward waiting. It rewards showing up. So don’t just “get through” freshman year. Say yes to dinner. Start the conversation. Knock on the door. The friends you’re looking for might be waiting for you to say hello.

Edited by: Kalia Hu & Maia Simmons