Long Distance Relationships: Do They Ever Really Work?
A thousand miles seems pretty far but they’ve got trains and planes and cars…
by GIOVANNA TUMMINELLA ★ SEPTEMBER 16, 2021
The beginning of school can be a make-it-or-break-it situation for a lot of hometown college-age couples. Are they going to stay tied down and make it work? Or are they going to want the full “college experience” on their own? If you’re a college student, chances are you know at least one if not many friends who are in a long-distance relationship. Maybe you’re the one trying to decide if the distance is doable. Look, I get it. I came to college in a long-distance relationship with my high school boyfriend, so I’ve totally been there. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to long-distance. You just gotta trust yourself and follow your heart. Let's go over some pros and cons to help you figure out if this relationship is REALLY worth the distance.
Pro #1: Make Decisions for YOU!
Let’s start on a positive note because there’s way too much negative energy surrounding long-distance. When you’re with your significant other all of the time, it becomes easy to lose yourself in the relationship. I’ve seen instances of girls literally becoming their boyfriends--like no thank you. Distance for some of the year, whether at school or at home, will allow you to be your own person and make decisions for yourself. It's SO important to make time for other things like friends, school, the gym, extracurriculars...
Let’s be real. No one likes the girl that's with her boyfriend 24/7. Take this distance as a good thing, and put yourself first. Take cycling classes, go to dinners with your friends, go shopping, make a smoothie… Your boo will be there at the end of the day to talk about all the amazing things you guys have going on in your lives.
Con #1: Limited Hugs & Kisses
Although it is important not to spend too much time together, distance in certain situations restricts that time to a scarce amount. When you’re only seeing your boyfriend once or twice a semester, it can be extremely hard. Some people are strong enough for this, but for others, their love language equals quality time and physical touch. It’s important to recognize your love language is when attempting long-distance. If your love language is words of affirmation and acts of service, long-distance will be much easier for you than for someone who needs physical touch and quality time. After all, these should be the best years of your life, and you don’t want to look back on them as a time when you were unhappy and missing someone from your hometown.
Pro #2: Happily Ever After
If you are giving long distance a shot, I’m assuming you see a future with this person. It isn’t naive to think that high school sweethearts can’t live happily ever after. If you look at your person and see the one you want to be with for the rest of your life, long-distance is so worth the struggle. Think of it as working towards a future together. It’s a temporary period of time that’s going to lead to forever! Once you’re laying in your king-sized bed with the kids sleeping down the hall, you can look over at your person and be thankful neither of you gave up during that rough period of time.
Con #2: Missing the Big Stuff
When you love someone, you want to be by their side for all of the big moments. Obviously, distance gets in the way of that. No matter how badly you want to be there for their birthday or for Valentine’s Day, it’s just not always doable. Who doesn’t want to show their partner how much they care? But with different schedules, expensive plane tickets, and actual school (duh), chances are, you’re going to be missing a lot of those special days.
At the end of the day, no one knows what’s best for you and your relationship better than you do. Don’t listen to the negative talk that surrounds long-distance relationships. Just remember everything happens for a reason and whoever you are meant to be with will find their way to you. And hey...if it doesn’t work out...hot girl semester, am I right? Good luck!