You vs. You: Why Comparison Isn’t the Key
Why being your best self will always get you further than trying to be someone else.
by Bree Lauder-Williams ★ December 14th, 2025
Design by: Abby Block
The Doomscroll Stage
We’ve all been there: it’s 1 a.m., you’re half-asleep, scrolling through your phone, and suddenly you’re knee-deep in someone’s Italy photo dump, their shiny new job announcement, or their “I just moved into my dream apartment” slideshow. You close the app and spiral instantly. This is comparison—the fastest way to make your own life feel like a discounted version of someone else’s. Consider this your reminder that you move at your own pace, even when it feels like everyone else is speed-running success.
It’s Not Just You Being Dramatic
Comparison is basically biology. Hunters used to compare who brought home the most food; now we compare whose summer was the most extravagant or who threw the prettiest birthday party. Social media turns our lives into highlight reels we can’t help but stack against each other. Add in family expectations and cultural timelines—graduate by this age, succeed by that age, hit every milestone right on schedule—and suddenly everything feels like a race you didn’t sign up for.
The Sneaky Feeling
Comparison doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it shows up quietly:
That pit in your stomach when someone your age gets a big job
Feeling like your outfits aren’t aesthetic enough
Questioning why you don’t have a partner yet
Feeling “behind” just because people you go to school with are “Doing Things”
You’re not jealous—you’ve just created a scoreboard for your life. Comparison is like identity fraud… against yourself. It makes you forget what you actually want, turns life into a competition no one agreed to, chips at your confidence, and can push you toward choices that were never yours to begin with. Before you know it, you’re chasing an aesthetic, not a life.
How to Resist the Pressure
1) Self-Evaluate
Ask yourself: What do I actually care about? What do I actually want?
Half the time, we’re stressed over things we don’t even genuinely want—we just think we’re supposed to want them.
2) Remember: Everyone’s timing is different
A slower timeline isn’t wrong. Some people peak at 19; others at 29. Both are perfectly normal.
3) Curate your feed like your life depends on it
Mute, unfollow, restrict—whatever you need. If someone’s content makes you feel bad, you don’t owe it your attention.
4) Reframe others’ success
Someone else winning doesn’t mean you’re losing. Life is not one giant group project (thank god).
5) Celebrate micro-wins
Got out of bed? Applied for the job? Chose rest on purpose? That counts. Small steps add up more than you think—give yourself credit.
Influence Your Own Life
Living for you looks like this:
Making choices because they make sense for you
There is no pressure to rush in life, trying to catch up to someone else; where you’re at is already enough.
Understanding that there’s nothing wrong with being in your “figuring it out” era
Trusting that your time is coming
There’s something so peaceful about letting life unfold at your pace.
You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re exactly on time for your life—which is the only timeline that ever mattered. So breathe. Go outside if you can. Your pace is enough. The only girl you ever need to keep up with is the one you’re becoming.
Edited by: Riana Desai