Choosing Yourself
When you choose yourself, everything around you will choose you too.
by Sophie Abt ★ March 23rd, 2026
Photo Credit: Saanya Malhotra
We meet hundreds of people in every stage of life, some of whom become our good friends, and the rest are mostly acquaintances. We’ve also all heard of the infamous toxic friendships. Yes… I know you’ve already heard about it and the solutions to combat it, but there’s something else. Something you may not know. That will make you the most confident girl ever, who's ready to conquer the universe.
And it starts by choosing you.
With many friendships, we don’t realize that we often change ourselves to please others or make the friendship last. It can be something as small as tweaking the way you speak or act. At the end of the day, it is still you changing yourself for someone else, which is no way to go through life.
I had a friend who didn’t like that I laughed a lot, and at basically everything. I was told off for laughing and tried to control myself on several occasions, but I felt like I was shrinking myself. My days became shorter and darker, my face lost its glow and my self-esteem hit rock bottom. All because I loved laughing, and I tried to change myself to “save” the friendship. I can say with confidence that changing yourself for others will only make you feel unhappier and disappointed in yourself because you’re living a lie.
Girls, you are FAR better than this, and it’s time you realize who you really are. You don’t need to change anything about yourself just to make a friendship last. If someone wants to have a genuine bond with you, they will love you for the real you. But before that, you need to love yourself for the true, authentic, gorgeous person you are!
The theory is simple: choose yourself. By this, I mean love yourself for who you are and embrace your perfect imperfections. Only then will you attract like-minded people who also love and choose you for you.
Here are 3 extremely important things to keep in mind when choosing yourself:
Self Validation
Accept your internal emotions, thoughts, experiences, and sensations without judgment.
Recognize your own value and worth without depending on others.
Praise yourself!
Treat yourself with kindness.
Affirmations, affirmations, and affirmations!
Protecting Yourself
Set boundaries and be comfortable with saying NO.
Emotional well-being: practice managing emotions through tactics such as journaling and deep breathing, so that you aren’t overwhelmed.
If certain behaviours, actions or situations make you feel uncomfortable, walk away and protect your peace. Your gut is 99 percent of the time right.
Self-Compassion: Keep reminding yourself of your worth, avoid self-blame, and allow growth.
Appreciating and Accepting Discomfort
Instead of running away from unpleasant situations and feelings, embrace them as opportunities for growth.
Be comfortable with rejections, as it only builds resilience and confidence.
When in an unpleasant situation, slow down and act on your values, not your fears.
And of course, embrace every feeling and every situation with that beautiful smile of yours!
Top Secret!
Girl to girl, the most genuine way to find your true self and happiness is by putting yourself above others. If you feel unhappy, listen to your gut. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Our souls crave love from us first over anyone else. Trust me on this, once you start to appreciate and worship yourself, people around you will do the same. You will attract the people meant for you and remain confident. So darlings, instead of running away from the real you, slow down and embrace her. Embrace the ethereal, confident goddess within you and let her shine.
Remember, it starts with you.
Edited by: Ava Robbins