The 20s Scaries
‘The jump from being a teenager to a 20 year old and the fear of growing up’
BY Eleanor Carvill ★ October 2nd, 2026
Photo Credit: Maddie Santoriello
Can a number really be that scary? For me, and it seems many of my friends, yes. It’s two weeks until my 20th birthday and I can’t help but feel a sense of dread. My friends who have already turned this feared number make references to how they’re ‘old’ now. They’ve switched from using SnapChat as their main form of communication to iMessage or have started thinking more deeply about the future as a young adult now. Some of them have even changed their vibe and aesthetic to appear more mature.
I can’t help but feel behind. I have never had a boyfriend, passed my driving test, had an internship or had nearly enough money in my savings as I would like. Everyone talks about the significance of turning 18 or 21, yet somehow 20 gets overlooked? The end of our teenage years: too young to go to the bar yet somehow expected to sign a lease and work out rent agreements.
I was on the phone with my mom recently explaining my reservations about this next chapter. She was silent for a moment then simply responded “20 will be your year.” Although this didn’t provide much insight, it completely changed my perspective.
It can be so easy to get caught up in feeling like you are underachieving or falling behind. Instead of worrying about things I can’t control and comparing what stage of life I’m at to everyone else, I am choosing to combat this fear by making myself realistic, manageable goals that help me feel more in control about growing up. For example, putting money aside each month for study abroad, applying to at least five internships for next summer and, well, the boyfriend aspect… that is something I’m choosing to leave up to fate.
We spend so much time worrying about what we don’t have that we forget about what we do have. In this instance, we have time. Time to make mistakes, time to start again, time to try something new and, most importantly, time to decide to make it “our year.”’
Edited by Kiera Miller