What's a Girls Girl?
design: Finley Banks
And what is not.
by SAVANNA KIMBLE ★ NOVEMBER 02, 2023
First things first, being a girls girl doesn't just mean you have a lot of girlfriends and you love hair, makeup, or fashion. Actually, it really has nothing to do with being feminine at all!
A true girls girl just wants other girls to feel safe, comfortable, and empowered. If you see a girl who needs to pull her shirt up or who has lipstick on their teeth, you let her know—as discreetly and as friendly as possible. You never want to make a girl feel embarrassed or singled out for things that happen to everyone. A girls girl will always have your best interest in mind. It's so important for girls to hype each other up and give compliments, it can boost someone's whole mood and confidence. A girls girl never gatekeeps either. If someone compliments your perfume, just tell them what is… it's not that deep!
What is not A Girls Girl?
Let's be honest, in the world we live in, it can be so easy to be jealous or see other girls as competition—especially when there is a guy involved. This is why it is even more important for girls to have each other's back because you can’t always expect guys to. Putting another girl down just makes guys think they can do the same. Tina Fey said it best, “You all have to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
Belittling another girl out of envy helps no one. It's hurtful and just makes you appear jealous and insecure. It's important to note that confidence really is everything. If you truly are a confident girl, you don’t need to compare yourself or put down anyone to make you feel secure within yourself. You should want all your friends to look good when going out, not just you.
I've also realized that some girls will choose to hate on female-dominated subjects like makeup, Taylor Swift, Alix Earle, astrology, etc, just to get male attention. I can't tell you how many times I’ve been talking about Taylor Swift and a girl has to make a comment about how she “doesn't get the hype” or that “all she does is talk about her exes”, just to have the guys around her agree and validate her. Trust me, male validation is not everything, especially when you’re using another girl at its expense.
Girl Code
Sometimes you don’t realize how important girl code is until you’re on the other side of it. Girl code can help a lot of girls in relationships or even friendships. It’s letting a girl know, whether she is your best friend or someone you’ve never even met, that you saw her boyfriend being weird with other girls or that her “best friend” was talking bad about her. This set of unwritten rules—never leaving a drunk girl alone, backing her up in public settings, etc—helps us out a lot. Going after your friend's ex or competing for attention from the guy your friend likes are a few examples of how to break it. Nothing is gained from breaking girl code except maybe a glimpse of attention from a guy. And believe me, it's never worth it.
To wrap this up, I think it’s fair to say all of us have not always been the best girls girls. We’ve all had moments of jealousy or competing for male attention. But what's important is being able to identify if you would feel uncomfortable if a girl was doing that to you—then you'll know if you should be acting that way or not. Just remember, it never hurts to help or look out for each other.