The Do’s and Don’ts of Seeing Your Ex over Thanksgiving
How to be the one that got away and not the psycho ex.
by LIVI MERRILL ★ NOVEMBER 23, 2022
Thanksgiving break marks the relaxing break from school to see family and catch up with hometown friends… or face the ghosts of relationships past. Whether your relationship ended on good or bad terms, you'll want to dive into this for tips on navigating this oh-so-dreaded encounter.
DO say hi if you see him
We all graduated middle school, didn't we? If you see him, acknowledge him. As much as you might want to crawl into the nearest hole and call all your best friends until the coast is clear, it's pathetic to pretend you didn’t notice him. Walk over, say hi, and if you REALLY need to (and I mean this is the last case scenario), throw in a little small talk. The real mission is to get out of there as soon as possible and leave him thinking you're mature enough to talk to him but not desperate enough to try to make it anything more than a casual run-in.
DON’T hook up with him for any reason
For the ladies who might still be in love with their ex, I'm sorry, but the *clarifying bang* is complete bullshit. If you really think that sex with your ex will clarify if you're over him, let me do the work for you… you're not; if anything, this will only make you miss him more. And, for my girlies who broke up "for college" and think he's still the one, by your logic, you'll have the rest of your life to hook up again. Lastly, for the ones thinking of doing it "for old times sake," what are you really gaining from it? The chance at an STD from their college endeavors? An opportunity to be the next victim of their post-nut-clarity? No thanks. Be untouchable; that's hotter anyways.
DO remember why you ended things in the first place
This step should be taken before you even risk the chance of seeing them in person. Relationships can be a lot, and those feelings don't just magically disappear overnight; chances are, a casual run-in could resurface more than a few of those old feelings. So on the drive, plane ride, or however you're getting home, take a moment to reflect on why you guys ended things in the first place. You or your ex called it off for a reason, and I can bet it was a pretty good one.
DON'T try to make him jealous
More often than not, you and your ex fall into the same group of friends at home, so you're going to see each other on a night out. As tempting as it might be to try and make him jealous by being a little too flirty with his friends or more noticeable than usual, I promise he'll see right through it, and all you'll achieve is looking desperate. The best way to show you've "moved on" is to act completely unbothered by their presence.
DO tell them if you're in a relationship
Your ex has no right to know how many people you've hooked up with since the breakup, but you should respect them enough to admit if things have gotten serious with someone else during your time apart. That being said, don't flaunt it. Your ex doesn't want to hear about how great things are going with your new boyfriend. Keep the details to yourself–he's your ex, not your best friend.
DON'T drink away the pain
For most of us, the thought of our ex sounds like the perfect opportunity to call a round of shots for you and your friends…but do you really want to go down that rabbit hole? Keep it classy; as much as you might want to take the easy way out, remember that Thanksgiving is really about seeing friends and family, not your ex. You'll want to remember all the stories your friends tell you about the start of their school year, so be sure your ex doesn't become the reason you don't.
With all that being said, nobody's perfect, and if I'm being honest, I probably won't even follow this advice to a tea. In the end, whatever happens, will happen, and even if things get messy, at least the morning debrief will be a little more interesting. However, let's keep these tips in mind to avoid a possible EXistential crisis.
Cover Photo Credit: Pinterest