The Bachelor: Episode Nine Recap
ABC really said: Women Tell All! But make it a snooze-fest.
by LAYLA HARRISON ★ MARCH 3, 2021
None other than Bachelor host and erotic novelist, Chris Harrison, opens the show by introducing most of season 25’s rejects.
Credit: Twitter
We start with Jessenia and MJ debating who was in the right in their dispute during the season. Jessenia was declared the villain (finally!), and Mari defended MJ in saying that she was “authentic.” Ryan calls Queen Victoria out for calling girls things like “slore,” but OF COURSE, V deflects without remorse. She continues to whine that she’s been brushing off death threats on the internet. Ryan fires back that it’s not the same as having her character degraded on national television. Chelsea and Kit defend Ryan and we LOVE to see it happen—yes, ladies! I wish Kit talked more during this episode. I miss our little socialite.
Chris turns attention to Katie and asks about her experience. Katie says that re-watching and seeing how people tolerated Victoria’s behavior was hard because she couldn’t. Queen Victoria makes the point that they all did the best they could, which would be a solid argument if it weren’t overshadowed by the fact that, you know. Victoria said it. Katie says that the internet’s backlash is karma for their actions on the show. Chelsea disagrees, “The house was not toxic until you made it toxic by bringing it up to Matt.” GIRL WHAT?! Pieper tacks on by asking how Katie thought telling Matt about the house issues would help their relationship. Katie’s like, “I DIDN’T DO THIS TO HELP MY RELATIONSHIP??” She just did what she thought was right. Serena adds, “I think she did it to light the flame and start the fire.” FINALLY, Jessenia steps in and defends Katie saying that there were certain issues (*ahem* the escort rumor) that needed to be addressed right away.
This leads us into Brittany’s invitation into “the hot seat” to address the escort drama. It takes a pretty heavy turn (as it should!) as Brittany starts by describing how the rumor negatively impacted her life post-show. She says, “It’s kinda unfair that I constantly have to defend my name from now on.” She explains that she didn’t want to be around family after the show aired because of the embarrassment, and she also points out that she and Ana, who started the rumor, haven’t spoken since the show. Shout-out to Ana though—sis came on WTA and apologized profusely, stating “nothing I can say can justify what I did. Honestly, there’s no reason ever to take down another woman especially without thinking about the consequences… everything I did in the situation was wrong.” Then, Ana gets a little deep and says her actions came out of anger because she’s an angry person who is trying not to be angry anymore. (Insert EYE LIPS EYE emoji sequence here). Mari asks what the motivation behind the rumor was. Ana repeats that there was no justification, but people did reach out to her before the show with concerns about Brittany because “Chicago’s a small town.” GIRL. WHAT? Gotta stop you RIGHT. THERE. Chicago has the 3rd highest population in the country after LA and NYC... but like, ok I guess. That was my biggest problem with this whole thing.
Credit: Instagram
Next, Chris calls Katie to the hot seat, addressing her as “the gift that keeps on giving.” YOU. LOVE. TO. SEE. IT. He introduces her montage of moments with Matt by saying, “You showed up with a magic wand, but you definitely captured Matt’s attention.” Re-watching their conversations and seeing their connection bums me out. I forgot that they were almost cute together. After the flashback moments, we come back to the WTA stage and Katie’s crying. Katie, our beloved, expresses how she was able to be 110% herself with Matt, but it didn’t work out. She wants to find her person, but also is worried there’s something wrong with her. IF! THAT! ISN’T! RELATABLE! IDK! WHAT! IS!
Next, Abigail gets the spotlight for a little. We watch her moments with Matt back and turn back to the stage after. Abigail does not shed a tear. OK, QUEEN! She talks about being thankful that she was able to represent the gray space between hearing people and deaf people, which was rad of her to address.
Serena is the last woman on the hot seat. Chris starts by telling her that “there was a point in time where I thought you were the one.” Then, we re-watch the breakup, which was debatably the only entertaining part of hometowns. When we return, Serena is sobbing in the hot seat, saying it brought her back to what she was feeling in that moment. She talks about wanting her family to affirm the relationship and getting the opposite brought her clarity, but not the clarity she wanted.
Finally, Matt shows up, and he’s sporting a horrendous beard that’s honestly the open-eye kiss of facial hair. Legend has it, the beard contains a crumb from every burger Matt’s eaten post-filming. Chris Harrison greets him as “James Harden.” Listen, we don’t know how the show ends yet, but...
Credit: Twitter
Victoria scrambles to get some words in when Matt shows up. She says that she was hurt to hear him say she needed to “self-reflect” after her exit. Sweetie, you REALLY did. You STILL DO. Matt said he felt that he dropped the ball on their relationship and could’ve done more... wow. Victoria got WAAAAYY too much credit in this episode and got off WAAAAYY too easy. Nobody really had a bone to pick with Matt. I must reiterate how much this episode felt like having sex with a frat boy. You have every ingredient to orgasm, and you keep waiting, nothing happens, then it’s over. All this build up for nothing.
The biggest upset of the night was that the rumors of Katie being announced as Bachelorette at WTA were not supported. RIP. Chris promises drama during fantasy suite week and shows us a pretty boring preview. At this rate, all we know for sure is that we get a moody shot of Matt trudging through a snowy forest.
Cover photo: Instagram (@bachelornation), USA Today (ABC)