The Bachelor: Episode Seven Recap
May I present to you: the worst episode of the season.
by LAYLA HARRISON ★ FEBRUARY 17, 2021
So where were we? Obviously, we open up with Heather and Matt sitting down for a conversation, during which Heather explains that Hannah B sent her to meet him. Matt loves and respects Hannah, and says he just needs time to think. While he walks off to do... whatever he does when he just disappears mid-episode (ok, Matt)? Heather introduces herself to the women, who immediately ask, “what are you doing here?” Heather coolly replies, “I’m here to meet Matt.”
Jessenia immediately fires back with, “oh, you’re really late.” The girls tell Heather to leave, but not without shouting some other catty digs at her—a personal fave being, “you’re just bachelor hopping.” OOF. Heather says, “guys, I don’t want to do this,” and she’s met with the obvious clap-back: “then what are you doing here?” Heather starts to cry, and Pieper says, “I’m sorry, I don’t really care honestly because you interrupted my time...” I can still hear it in her voice. Serena C, the last of our mean girls, chimes in with, “ok, just talk about it in an interview because I don’t want to hear your tears right now.” RUDE! Hannah Brown posted an IG story last week warning, “pray for the girls who are mean to my Heather.” Sweetie... that’s every single one of them. Except Bri and Abigail. Gotta give credit where credit’s due.
Credit: Twitter
Hometowns are NEXT WEEK. Matt doesn’t have time to welcome another girl into the group, especially on the night of a rose ceremony. The issue is... you can tell he and Heather have chemistry... sue me! They do!! Matt says, “Hannah wouldn’t send you here without knowing you’re someone I could be with and that’s why this is hard for me is with where we're at, being this deep into the process, I don’t know how it could work.” Heather says, “I just want you to know how seriously I’m taking this, and it's not for any other reason than to be with you.” Clearly defending herself against the girls accusing her of clout chasing.
Matt tells her she has to go home and walks her out in front of all the girls. Pieper won’t let her leave without snarkily whispering, “and your name was...?” Matt apologizes to the girls for Heather’s interruption and invites Pieper to finish the conversation that was interrupted by her entrance.
Cue the: “That was so hot.” - Chelsea. “I haven’t been this attracted to him yet.” - Serena P. “I feel like that was a glimpse into the future of how he handles situations and I liked it. I thought it was attractive.” - Pieper.
It’s time for the rose ceremony. There are only six roses up for grabs. Two women have roses. Eight don’t. The pressure is ON. I thought for sure Jessenia and Serena C. would go home, but NOPE! In a shocking plot twist, Serena C and Chelsea go home. RIP Chelsea; she was a baddie. Queen Chelsea’s parting words were, “saying goodbye to Matt killed me.” Bri, Rachael, Serena P, Kit, Jessenia, Abigail, and rose holders Pieper and Michelle stay.
Credit: Twitter
The first group date rose arrives, and it’s a one-on-one. The two women who haven’t had one-on-ones are Jessenia and Abigail. They anxiously wait to see who it goes to, only to find out that Serena P is getting her second one-on-one. Matt explains that he feels he’s worked his way into the friend zone with Serena and wants to reach a point of breakthrough with her. Their date is tantric yoga (so basically the most sexual thing you could ever do on a date). Serena P is somehow the most flexible person in the entire world and she totally kills the date, but she’s clearly uncomfy. She says, “Matt is more affectionate than I am when it comes to PDA. Maybe he feels bonded by the experience but I was in my head waiting for it to be over.” Matt tries to kiss her in the sex—uh, I mean yoga—positions... and she pulls away. After the date, she tells Matt she hated it, explaining gracefully, “I'm not someone who’s quick to lust or quick to love.” Ok queen. I see you with the eloquent phrasing.
On the evening portion of the date, they hold hands and Matt thanks her for being open and honest... *groan.* Matt tells her how much he looks forward to meeting her family, and Serena gets the rose. TBH, you can tell that he is just not what she’s looking for, but you gotta appreciate when a contestant is too good for the lead.
The next day, we have the last group date of the season. It’s literally just a night date that consists of everyone sitting on a couch and peeling off to have fifteen minute convos with Matt. No fun day activity beforehand. LAME. All the women are there except Jessenia and Serena. This means that Abigail doesn’t ever get a one-on-one. Abigail pulls Matt aside and says that this week has been hard for her, and all she wants is to spend more time with him. THIS is where it gets GROSS. Matt says, “I was so comfortable in our relationship that I explored other relationships. And in exploring those relationships with other women on those one-on-ones, I did grow strong feelings for them. And being honest with you and following my heart, my heart’s pulling me in another direction. The last thing I want to do is lead you on. You deserve someone who’s going to put you first.” BOY WHAT? Literally can you feel your heart being ripped out of your chest? He walks Abigail out and informs the women of her departure.
Then, he pulls Rachael. Our Southern Belle looks nervous, but she lays it allllll on the line and tells Matt she feels like she’s been searching for him her entire life and that her biggest fear is not ending up with him. He affirms her saying, “when I'm not around you, I'm thinking about you and you just make me smile.” In an actually deep conversation, Bri tells Matt she resigned from her job, which means everything to her, to stay on the show and finish it with Matt. She starts to cry and says that while her job was a dream, finding love with Matt is worth the sacrifice. Matt reports, “I’ve heard all I need to hear from Bri. She’s here for me.” YEAH... WE KNOW.
21-year-old Kit pulls Matt and immediately lays it all on the table, proclaiming that she is prepared to get rejected. She says she needs someone to be her cheerleader while she finishes school, travels, figures out her career path. She confesses, “I don’t want kids until I’m 25, 26. I’m a long term investment I would say.” Matt chuckles and says it’s fine. Kit says his response and willingness to be patient makes her feel euphoric.
They fully have a seven year age difference, which isn’t bad, but on the Bachelor, which is essentially speed dating, that’s so not gonna work.
Matt comes back to all the women and hands out the group date rose. And the rose goes to... Rachael. Cut to: a single tear running down Bri’s face. And just to twist the knife, Matt proclaims that he has something special planned for the rest of the evening with Rachael. CUE THE SLOW DANCE AT A PRIVATE CONCERT FROM A BAND NOBODY KNOW—wait what?! Is that ALOE BLACC? Aloe Blacc serenades Matt and Rachael with his angelic voice, and I can’t help but think this is Rachael’s first time alone in a room with two Black men.
Meanwhile, Bri whines, “I feel like I could rip my stomach out right now.” Kit says, “I’m sorry but is my face tomato red right now? Because that’s how it feels.” Girls. WE FEEL YOU. Kit then takes it upon herself to... BE ON HER ABSOLUTE QUEEN SH*T! She leaves and goes to Matt’s house to self eliminate, telling him she thought she’d have clarity by now, but doesn’t and hometowns isn’t a “figure it out kind of situation.” He says he likes her and wants her to stay and she says that she’s “unwavering in this'' because she knows what he deserves. Long story short, Kit’s a legend and deserves much better.
Credit: Twitter
The second one-on-one goes to Jessenia. She’s taken to a big parking lot that instantly gives me flashback to parallel parking lessons during drivers ed. *Shivers.* A red race car drives up to Jessenia and she pretends to be excited. If a boy EVER took me on a drifting date, I would be out of there faster than the car. Everyone knows, and I hate to be the one to say it, car guys can’t find the cl*t. You can tell this isn’t even a date, it’s just an activity Matt had on his bucket list. Weirdly, Jessenia gushes, “If this is a glimpse of what life could look like with Matt, then I can't ask for anything more.” UH... ok, babe. Then Jessenia says, “Wait, I've always wanted to try something. Pick me up.” Matt picks her up and places her on the hood of the car and they make out. Are you kidding? This is what you’ve always wanted to try? Pack it up, speed racer.
Over dinner, Jessenia tells Matt she’s falling for him. He hits her with the, “thank you for sharing that'' and proceeds to tell her, “I love your boldness. I love the way you carry yourself,” rose in hand. Then, you guessed it, baby! He dumps her. This late in the game, it’s agonizing to watch the dumplings. Matt is literally emotionless because he’s so obsessed with Rachael. I don’t even like Jessenia and my heart sank. Back at the house, the producer drags Jessenia’s suitcase out. Rachael, Pieper, and Serena cover their smiles with their shirts and hands. Rude!
FINALLY, it’s time for the rose ceremony, and we get to finish it this time! Thank God. There is only one girl getting sent home, and that one girl is Pieper. Her last words are that she feels like her “entire soul was stomped on.” Serena, Rachael, Bri, and Michelle are headed to hometowns!
Credit: Twitter
Even though Bri stays, after the episode she posted this:
Credit: Instagram (@brisprings)
Finally, we’d be remiss not to address Chris Harrison’s recent announcement to step away from The Bachelor for a sec. As we know, Chris Harrison recently had an interview with Bachelor nation icon and advocate, Rachel Lindsay, during which he defended racism and Rachel’s attendance at an Old South plantation themed party. He issued an apology via Instagram and has been silent since. We will not be seeing him at After the Final Rose, and perhaps even Paradise. It might be too soon but here’s my top pick as a replacement: Wells Adams!
I’d like to end this recap with a story. The morning Matt was announced as bachelor, I was home and went down to the kitchen to find my sister. I looked her right in the eye and mustered as much excitement as I could and told her, “We’re finally having our first Black bachelor! His initials are MJ. Guess who it is!” Sweet Lilly Harrison lit up and screamed, “OMG. Mike!” Bachelor nation, we were robbed and we’ve known it from the second they chose Peter after Hannah B’s season.
Cover photo credit: Parade (ABC/Craig Sjodin)