Being okay with being alone
How to not feel helpless when you aren’t constantly surrounded by friends
BY Abbie Fleeman ★ October 15th, 2026
Photo credit: Lizzie Furlong
College is often portrayed as a nonstop social experience. Between going out with friends, attending club meetings and making plans for the weekend, it can feel like everyone is constantly surrounded by people. But the reality of college is that there will be gaps in your schedule, afternoons when your friends are busy and weekends when your plans fall through. In a new city, where your routines and friendships are still developing, learning to spend time alone can feel especially challenging.
It is easy to interpret an empty calendar as a sign that you are missing out or that everyone else is having more fun than you. But being alone is not the same as being lonely, and having a quiet day does not mean you are doing college wrong. Learning to enjoy your own company is a skill that takes time, but it can make you feel more independent, confident and comfortable in your everyday life. Here are five ways to embrace your alone time without feeling like you are missing out.
#1: Dedicate time to a hobby
When your social calendar is looking a little empty, it helps to have something to look forward to that does not depend on anyone else. Whether you love playing an instrument, making art, reading, writing or going to the gym, having a hobby gives you an opportunity to spend time doing something purely for yourself. It can also provide a much-needed break from the constant cycle of classes, assignments and extracurriculars.
Try scheduling time for your hobbies the same way you would schedule a class or club meeting. This makes it easier to prioritize the things you enjoy instead of waiting until you have nothing else to do. You could even use your alone time to try something new, whether that means taking a different fitness class, visiting a local bookstore or picking up a creative project you have been putting off. You might discover that some of your favorite activities are the ones you do on your own.
#2: Make the most of the gaps between classes
Those awkward hours between classes can feel especially lonely when your friends have different schedules. Instead of spending the entire break scrolling through social media and wondering what everyone else is doing, try turning that time into an opportunity to reset, recharge or get ahead.
You could find a comfortable spot to study, catch up on readings or finish an assignment so that you have more freedom later in the day. At Syracuse, the top floor of Schine Student Center, Carnegie Library and the Noble Room in the basement of Hendricks Chapel are all great places to settle in. If you need a break from academics, grab a coffee, listen to a podcast or take a walk around campus.
The goal is not to make every free minute productive. It is to become comfortable with having time that belongs to you. Once you stop viewing gaps in your schedule as something to fill with other people, they can become some of the most peaceful parts of your day.
#3: Give yourself permission to loaf
There is a difference between spending time alone and feeling like you constantly need to accomplish something with that time. College can make it feel as though you should always be studying, working, attending an event or making plans. But sometimes, the best thing you can do is absolutely nothing.
Take a nap, watch your favorite comfort show, lie in bed listening to music or let yourself have an afternoon without a plan. Rest is not wasted time, and you do not need to justify a quiet day by making it productive. Giving yourself permission to slow down can help you recharge and return to your responsibilities feeling more grounded.
It is also worth remembering that social media rarely shows the full picture. Seeing your friends post about a night out or a fun afternoon can make you feel as though you are the only one staying in. But someone else's exciting plans do not make your quiet evening any less valuable. You are allowed to have a slower day without feeling like you are falling behind.
#4: Take yourself on a solo date
If the thought of doing something alone makes you uncomfortable, start small. Get your favorite meal, take a trip to Regal to see a movie, browse your favorite stores or splurge on some nice groceries at Trader Joe's. You could even explore a part of Syracuse you have never visited before. The point is to do something you genuinely enjoy without waiting for someone else to be available.
Solo dates can feel intimidating at first, especially when you are used to doing everything with friends. You might worry about what other people think or feel awkward sitting alone in a restaurant. But most people are far more focused on themselves than on what you are doing. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes.
There is also something freeing about making plans entirely around your own preferences. You get to choose the movie, eat what you want and spend as much or as little time somewhere as you like. You do not have to compromise, coordinate schedules or wait for someone to say yes. Sometimes, the best way to build confidence is to prove to yourself that you do not need company to have a good time.
#5: Check in with yourself
Alone time can be an opportunity to get to know yourself outside of your friendships and social circles. When you are constantly surrounded by other people, it can be easy to focus on everyone else's needs, plans and opinions without stopping to think about your own.
Try journaling, taking a quiet walk or simply asking yourself how you are feeling. Are you genuinely enjoying your time alone, or are you feeling disconnected and wishing you had more meaningful social interactions? Both feelings are valid, and recognizing the difference can help you figure out what you need.
Learning to be comfortable alone does not mean you should ignore feelings of loneliness or convince yourself that you do not need other people. Human connection matters, and it is completely normal to want company. If you have been feeling isolated, use that awareness as a starting point. Reach out to a friend, suggest getting lunch with someone from class or attend a club meeting where you can meet people with similar interests. You can learn to enjoy your own company while still making an effort to build the connections you want.
Ultimately, the goal is not to become someone who never feels lonely. It is to know that a quiet afternoon or an unplanned weekend does not have to ruin your mood or define your college experience.
Being okay with being alone does not mean choosing isolation over friendship. It means learning that your life can still feel full, meaningful and enjoyable even when nobody else is around. Friendships will change, schedules will clash and plans will fall through, but your relationship with yourself is something you carry through all of it. The more comfortable you become in your own company, the less you have to depend on other people to make every moment feel worthwhile.