Why it is OK to Sleep With Someone on the First Date
And why it's OK to wait.
by RACHEL MUSMAN ★ AUGUST 18, 2022
In a world of “slut,” “whore,” “hoe,” and “prude,” being thrown around like your situationship’s dirty pong ball, thinking about sex has gone from “with who” to “when?” Everyone knows about the classic sex after the third date rule or the “make them wait for it if you want to seem like girlfriend material” (whatever the hell that means), but what everybody needs to know is: that it’s absolutely okay to sleep with somebody on the first date, but it’s also totally fine to wait.
Let’s be honest: we’re all horny. Our minds are constantly consumed by flashbacks of past sexual experiences, and the media is just full of images that only feed into our, ahem, desires. So why is acting on that bad? Our physical needs are just as valid as our emotional needs. An orgasm legitimately has biological benefits, ranging from happy hormones to stress reduction to strengthening your immune system.
There is this expectation that women are less sexual than men. EFF THAT! Follow your body and your mind, and go about things in a way that makes you and your partner comfortable; don’t think about what anybody else might say. Sex is a huge part of daily life, and there should be no shame for being a normal human being. If a potential partner doesn’t want to get more serious with you because “you put out on the first date” then that person is not worth your time.
Intimacy should have no rules, other than that it needs to happen at the pace you and your partner are comfortable with. “Sex” can mean a wide range of things. Do whatever, whenever. Not one thing needs to come before or after the other. Sex is not just penetration. There are many other ways to feel pleasure. I may not know much about sports, but home base isn’t the only base to exist. Sorry baseball boys, but sometimes running the bases out of order can lead to more fun.
Physical aspects of a relationship play a huge role in things. Learning each other’s bodies and desires can happen at different paces. If the sex is good on the first date, amazing! It's great that the chemistry is there from the start. If the sex isn’t good on the first date: don’t lose hope. It takes time to learn what feels good and pleases both of you.
However; if you aren’t ready to sleep with someone after the first date (or even smooch, let's be real here) that is NORMAL, OKAY, AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. Just do that for yourself. Not to please society and its rules. Like Samantha Jones once said, “If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.”
Cover Photo Credit: Pinterest