A Smart Girl's Guide to Having a Summer Fling

Summer fling, don’t mean a thing…

by JULIA SHORT★ JULY 1, 2021

If we’ve learned anything from love stories in movies, it’s that summer flings can be completely hot and exciting. That being said, many of these so-called *flings* fizzle out once the weather gets cooler and the crop tops turn into back-to-work business attire.

Once you spend a lot of time with one person, developing feelings is absolutely inevitable. Soon, your thoughts on the fling go from “I want to have fun!” to “so when are you going to meet my parents?” 

Nobody wants to develop feelings for their fling, especially when the original goal was to have a no-strings-attached hot girl summer. But it is important to recognize that if you go into a fling thinking something more will come out of it at the end, you are setting yourself up for utter disaster. The probability of you getting hurt at the end will be much higher if you start off entertaining the thought of a future with your fling, especially if that person offers no potential for a future relationship right off the bat.

That being said, if a summer full of smooches, fun, and no strings attached is EXACTLY what you need right now, follow these tips to having a safe and sexy ***yet smart*** summer fling according to my favorite book, “Why Men Love Bitches”. 

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At the beginning of the relationship, don't make yourself so accessible. If you do, the relationship will always be on their terms.

If you have plans with friends, DON'T CANCEL THEM TO HANG WITH YOUR FLING. A smart girl will keep her previously set plans instead of ditching her friends. If you drop everything to see your partner, they’ll think they have you wrapped around their finger.

The person who is the least dependent on the outcome of the relationship will automatically draw the other person in.

If you have an edge to your personality with an enormous amount of self-respect, you have the power of your self-worth to govern your own decisions. Since you aren't afraid, ironically, your fling will be afraid to lose you. It becomes similar to a reverse magnet. If you aren’t needy, they will begin to need you. If you aren't dependent on him, they will begin to depend on you.

You need to love yourself first in order for you to accept someone else liking you.

Because you love yourself, you don’t take any shit from anyone else if they don’t want you. You don’t beg a fling to stay, you keep your edge. This ultimately prevents him from wanting to leave. If you project an aura that reads “I don’t want him desperately enough”, you will always have the upper hand.

You need to recognize that if your fling is unwilling to lift a single finger for you in the beginning, they are showing you that they have nothing to offer you in the future and that they are unworthy of your time.

This tip has NOTHING to do with your self-worth and has everything with what he has to offer you. Right from the beginning, you need to give him the message “Who I am is enough, take it or leave it”.

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Secrecy is SEXY.

Have you learned NOTHING from ‘Grease’??? Sandy and Danny’s summer fling was completely secret, and it was nothing short of romantic. Especially if you’re seeing someone you aren’t *supposed* to be seeing—it makes everything that much hotter when it comes down to it.
Establish some boundaries with your fling right upfront.

One simple way to make sure you don’t catch feelings with your fling? Establishing boundaries about the amount of time, energy, and emotional intimacy you invest into the relationship. It can be easy to spend all of your time with one person (even without realizing it), but if you make sure to establish some key boundaries in the beginning, it eliminates the chances of you getting heartbroken if you invest too much.

SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

More often than not, people become exclusive by default. What I mean by this is that without even knowing it, you are only seeing the one person you have a fling with while your partner is off seeing God knows how many other people. Keep your options open by seeing other people and your fling will automatically hold less emotional weight in your eyes.

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Lastly, have fun with it.

A fling is supposed to be fun. If you’re stressed out about it every waking hour, it takes away from the whole point of having a fling. If you aren’t completely satisfied with what you are receiving, next caller.

In order to have a safe and sexy summer fling, I strongly advise you to follow these tips. If you would like the extremely helpful advice of Ms. Sherry Argov, buy yourself a copy of “Why Men Love Bitches.” A needed wake-up call to say the least.