How to Shoot Your Shot

Ladies, hit him up.

by ESTHER KIM ★ OCTOBER 4, 2020

Why are girls always so afraid to make the first move? 

I’ve seen so many girls in the past spend hours fretting over whether or not they should text a guy first or take the initiative. And my question to you is: what’s stopping you? Are you scared he’s going to think you’re desperate or coming off too strong? Because trust me, I used to think that way too. I was consumed by the social construct of women waiting around for their crush to reach out to them. But honestly, this is the hard cold truth: they literally couldn't care less. I’m telling you, guys are simple creatures—they don’t analyze every move or think that deeply about how you approach them. And what’s the worst that could happen? Getting rejected? What’s really going through a guys’ head what polo shirt he’ll wear that night and which wall he needs to punch a hole into. I know the fear of rejection can be very overwhelming and nerve-wracking but honestly, it happens to everyone in some form or another. And if the guy you were interested in shoots you down, who cares? Just jump back on your queen sh*t and move onto the next. It’s his loss anyway. So, I’m telling you to put yourself out there and tell that guy down the hall you’ve been eyeing for weeks that he’s cute. 

Credit: Pinterest

Let’s start small: randomly just swipe up on his story on Snapchat or Instagram. 

Literally just start a conversation about whatever he’s posting on his story! Now I know what you're thinking, how basic and lame of me to suggest. But have you seen a guy do anything different? Hook them with their own bait and swipe up. Even if you need to shut your eyes as your roommate hits send for you. I think this is one of the slyest and easiest ways to jumpstart a conversation. Maybe try and relate to him, if he’s at a restaurant that you’ve been too, start talking about it. Honestly, anything helps!

Hit him with a simple “Hey what’s up”

The only con to this method is that you’re going to need to think of conversation starters because some guys are just naturally dry texters. And we all know that Gen Z lacks some serious conversational skills. But, at least you have his attention while not giving too much of your feelings away. Follow up his answer with questions about his day or his plans later *wink wink*. If you can’t think of anything, search for ideas on Google—we can’t get more desperate than this.

BE BOLD: just tell him how you feel. 

Just say what is on your mind. You think he’s cute? Tell him! Are you confused about what you guys are? Ask him! Honestly this is very cut to the chase but it doesn’t waste your time and energy. It’s important to show that you know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to get it.

Credit: me.me

For research purposes, and to convince you further, I asked a few of my guy friends how they’d feel if the girl made the first move. Here are some responses:

• “I’m gonna be frank, I’d probably turn religious and thank god himself.” 

• “I actually prefer for the girl to make the first move or hit me up first cause it shows they are confident and it is reassuring of their interest/loyalty and willingness to be with me. It is also a confidence boost so hoorah for that too.” 

• “I think it’s nice when a girl makes the first move but also make them work for it after you do.” 

• “I mean I’d feel pretty happy at first because I just got hit up. And to guys I feel like that’s a compliment we don't always get a lot of. But then I would also be happy because I feel like the pressure of hitting someone up is a lot of the time on the guy.”  

• “I would feel good about myself and it would make the girl stand out as being bold and confident which I like.” 

• “I would be caught off guard because normally, or from my experience, it's usually the other way around; kinda the norm nowadays. But it honestly makes me want to get to know her because by that you can tell she’s different.” 

In conclusion: you know what to do.

So as you can tell ladies, guys do not care, and quite frankly it’s more of a confidence booster for them because it’s usually the guys always putting in the work so it’s a win-win. And a gentle reminder, guys are in the same boat as us when it comes to relationships and all of the above, some of them don’t have the balls to text you first either. College is all about trying new things and going out of your comfort zone. If you’re into the law of attraction, there’s a saying that resonated with me, “you attract what you are.” Putting yourself out there will only make it easier for you to meet someone instead of waiting around for a lame “u up?” text. A college campus is filled with so many different types of guys, so don’t limit or put pressure on yourself if it doesn’t work out with one of them. We’re here for four years, so we’re bound to make a few mistakes here and there. Now go out and do your thing girl!

Cover photo credit: Pinterest